The mystery man came overAnd he said, "I'm out of sight"He said, "For a nominal service chargeI could reach Nirvana tonight"If I was ready, willing and ableTo pay him his regular feeHe would drop all the rest of his pressing affairsAnd devote his attention to me
But I said, "Look here, brotherWho you jivin' with that cosmic debris?"Now, who you jivin' with that cosmic debris?"Look here, brother, don't you waste your time on me"
The mystery man got nervousAnd he fidget around a bitHe reached in the pocket of his mystery robeAnd he whipped out a shaving kitNow, I thought it was a razorAnd a can of foamin' gooBut he told me right then, when the top popped openThere was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of Afro-dyteeAnd the dust of the Grand WazooHe said, "You might not believe this, little fellaBut it'll cure your asthma too"
And I said, "Look here, brotherWho you jivin' with that cosmic debris?"Now, what kind of guru are you anyway?"Look here, brother, don't you waste your time on me"
Don't waste your time
"I've got troubles of my own, " I said"And you can't help me out, soTake your meditations and your preparationsAnd ram it up your snout""But I've got a crystal ball, " he saidAnd held it to the lightSo I snatched it all away from himAnd I showed him how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my headSo I'd look like I was deepI said some mambo jumbos thenI told him he was goin' to sleepI robbed his rings and his pocket watchAnd everything else I foundI had that sucker hypnotizedHe couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future thenAs long as he was hanging around, I said"The price of meat has just went upAnd your old lady has just gone down"
Look here, brotherWho you jivin' with that cosmic debris?Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?Don't you know, you could make more money as a butcherSo don't you waste your time on meDon't waste it, don't waste your time on me (oh Shontay, oh Shontay, oh Shontay, oh)Shontay